Remember Me Not
by Araclyzm
Summary: [The thing is Kairi…we’re never coming back.] It had been five years since then, and her first contact was fated to be the last.


**-a.n.-** Finally. I've got something up! Total complete YAYNESS! Like it, I command you to! Muaha. Kidding, my friends, kidding – but tell me exactly what you think about. I needed to write something out of the ordinary for once. Well, this isn't necessarily out of the ordinary – it's another Kingdom Hearts one-shot, and that is pretty much the only thing I write – but you get the idea. Anyway, this possibly makes no sense at all, but my subconscious was probably angling for that when I started writing this. -**araclyzm-**

**--**

**I have something to tell you.**

When I began this letter, I crossed out the greeting a thousand times over. 'Dear Kairi' seemed too formal though at this point formality is more fitting than friendship. 'To Kairi' seemed too childish, though we are – were – indeed children. Once upon a time. 'My beloved Kairi' or 'Dearest Kairi' didn't seem to fit despite the feelings I have – I had – for you, not to mention the fact of how uncomfortable you'd get simply reading that. The top of this disgusting slice of parchment wasn't fit for just your beautiful name, and a blank heading made the whole letter seem too empty. So I gave this letter a title.

**I have something to tell you.**

_Kairi._

_Kairi._

_Kairi. Kairi. Kairi._

How many times have I said your name since I last saw you? Countless times. Infinity. No set amount. There is no set amount in the time period since I last saw you. And that was what? Five years ago? It seems so short to me now, though I know it may have seemed like forever before this moment.

**I have something to tell you.**

I remember the first day we met, don't you? The atmosphere was dripping with a newly fallen rain from the night before, but the sun shone upon our island warmly as though it was blessing us for being so peaceful and calm despite and throughout the torrential rainstorm. The blessing, I believe now, was you. I'd like to think that; it will give me some peace.

You were only about five – Sora's age – and I six. Even then, I remember I was much more mature for my age than I ought to be. I still had my dreams of adventure then – my dreams of breaking away, the dreams that followed me into my teen years, growing and expanding. Sora shared them, though not as enthusiastically. He, like you, seemed to be content with living on our little island. Our little home.

We were playing on the beach when we saw you. Or when I saw you. You and Linae, your foster mother, had just reached the dock in a canoe fit for only you two. After tying it up, she walked over to the mothers and fathers watching us as we – that is to say, Wakka, Tidus, Selphie, Sora, some other children and I – were playing in the sand. After introducing herself and you, Linae told you to join us.

You were shy at first, but I knew from the second I saw you in the canoe that you would be fun to play with. A friend, I told myself. Being the only one who saw you standing around ten feet away, I dropped the blitzball I had been trying to bury in the sand while Wakka searched desperately for it, and ran over to you. Spotting his blitzball – and I – Wakka motioned to the others and they joined me as well.

Sora was my best friend even then, and he was the first to run beside me. I still remember, even on this horrid day, the conversation our childish selves had.

"_Hello," I said, staring unblinkingly at you. You stared back with, if it were possible, even more shyness than before. "Who are you?" _

_You looked at the others gathered around me. They were wondering who this strange new girl was, as was I. _

_And then you smiled with such a soft sweetness that I still remember and have never forgotten. _

"_I'm Kairi."_

And we grew up together, sharing our everything, from our secrets to our dreams. You learned my every flaw, and I yours. We became the closest of friends, you, Sora, and I. We used to compete for your attention, you remember? I was always challenging Sora in a race or a play fight. Sora would always eagerly accept; he told me once that he wanted to be just like me. He probably doesn't remember, but I do.

There was a time once, the day before we were separated I think, that I gave Sora my not-so-final challenge, in which sharing a papou fruit with you was the prize. That, and the winner would be appointed captain of the raft. Of course, I won, but no one had a chance to share the fruit with you. Want to know a secret? I really wanted to.

But first, try to remember the dream we had. Do you? It was actually more of my dream, and you and Sora supported it. To 'see new places and meet new people', as the old truism goes. We all felt deeply about it, I guess, with my influence, of course. I wanted so much to leave this little paradise of the Destiny Islands.

I felt trapped and caged within the unchanged routine of our day after day life. I mean, didn't you ever just get _bored_ with it all? The atmosphere of our world hardly ever became something else. That's why when it rained I would be the only one standing on the beach, like some lone tree in what used to be a forest. You remember that time I caught a cold just because of that? It was for a good cause, though. The rain proposed that there was something else. Something more. I always wanted something 'more'.

And then there was you and your thoughts. You didn't seem to mind so much staying there on the Destiny Islands. To most, it was a place where nothing bad could ever happen. It _seemed_ anyway. Not that it actually was. After all, if it was, we wouldn't be here now, would we?

Sora was somewhere in between with his thoughts. At times, he, like me, wished for an adventure, a chance to just break away and try something new. At other times, he, like you, was perfectly fine with where we were.

I could never understand that.

And then the time came where we were divided. I found myself walking through some kind of field that never seemed to end. Then, after a few days, I discovered a door, which led me to Traverse Town. It was there that I met Sora for the not-so-last time.

The first thing that went through my head was that he was real. While walking through that 'Field of Days', there were so many illusions and dreams of you and Sora that it was a relief that Sora was finally there and genuine. I could have gone mad with all the pictures, running after daydreams that had no chance of being real, not for a while.

But the next thing I new, he started waving his keyblade around like he was the king of the worlds, slashing a Heartless I already knew was there. Then I saw his companions – the 'King' apparently had chosen them or something. And I thought he had _replaced_ us, Kairi. You can't imagine how stupid I suddenly felt in that moment that he began arguing with some duck dressed as a wizard. The thought just suddenly occurred to me that he had...well...moved on. He no longer cared for either you or me.

I couldn't believe how wrong I was.

Please listen to this, Kairi, listen to it and understand, because I know you can. You have brains enough, always did. I need to tell you the truth of Kingdom Hearts, and then the truth of Sora and me, and you'll soon know exactly why I have to tell you so much.

You might need to know this first. The Heartless was, as Ansem had said, the manifestation of the darkness in people's hearts. Every heart had some kind of darkness, no matter how small that tiny bit could be. Harness that darkness, that power, and it could be made into something else, something much bigger, though at the loss of the specific person the darkness was taken from. Ansem said that he was the first and foremost creator of the 'Heartless' generally speaking, but that wasn't true, Kairi. The Heartless existed long before Ansem ever did. They existed far into the reaches of earliest time, when time itself was created, or so they say. They've always been around, eating away at hearts and souls and lives – which is why victims of both before and after the Heartless era remain in this ghost world – only they were much less hostile, I guess, much more calmer, demure, you could say. When Ansem 'discovered' them, he provoked them into overpowering everything, including himself. That was why he no longer lives. I know you wonder at that, and now you know.

When Sora sealed me away into the realm, the heart, of Kingdom Hearts, Mickey and I were transported to a world of the dead. A purgatory, if you will, filled with the souls of the people who'd lost their hearts. I guess there is no hell or heaven after all – just one never-ending plane of death. The world was...enormous. Universe-enormous, big enough to house even those who'd died before the Heartless came into being. It stretched on, forever and ever and ever. You can't imagine the enormity of it all – but then again, it was supposed to be the resting place of everyone who'd died in all of time, since the very beginning, and whatnot.

We two, that is to say, King Mickey and I, were apparently the only ones there who still had our hearts– no matter how slim the thread still held – but the souls (whom called themselves ghosts) didn't know why we were there if we still had our hearts, but looked at it and deemed it trouble and kept from us as much as possible. In truth, neither Mickey nor myself had lost them – we were simply tempted by darkness.

For the three years that we remained in that _place_, we wandered through the endless horde of the dead, or not-so-dead, considering the circumstances, searching for a door, even though all that dared to speak to us said that there was no door or a way out.

This is where Sora comes in. According to him, after being separated from you, he wandered, as I did, through a Field of Dreams that only showed him illusions and nothing real. Images, fake images, which appeared and then just evaporated like mist, with so much pain clinging to them like the scent of roses, the scent itself brimming like a full glass of milk. Like trying to grip water but it just slides through your fingers with that smooth, enchanting air that never ceases to amaze and sadden.

He tried so hard to save me, Kairi. He tried so hard, he _fought_ so hard to save both King Mickey and I, but in the end there was only one soul he could rescue, and in the end it was either Sora do the right thing or the selfish thing. There was no question about where his heart lay, but his mind – common sense and maybe a questionable guilt – knew one thing. King Mickey had duties to uphold, a kingdom to manage, and loving subjects to rule. Me? I was the nobody who overshadowed Sora in combat and wit, but was the invisible silhouette standing behind Sora when it came to your affections.

While billions upon trillions of souls of the dead shared that horrible world with the two of us for so long, the door was only big enough to fit one. And as before, when we were locked away, two masters of that godforsaken blade had to be on one side, the third master on the other. This time, it was a reverse of the original process. Two on the outside, one on the in. The realization that I could never return to your world was too much to bear, Kairi. Too much. But by the mercy of the gods, Kairi, I was given the smallest of chances – a chance I've come to regret, for ultimately, it was the end of both Sora and myself, when all along one of us could have survived.

I was given a chance to remember. Somehow or someway, I found myself walking beside Sora and you, with all of us as children again. For how long I frolicked in that memory, I don't know, but the time was seemingly endless. Yet as the cliché states, all good things must come to an end – the dream I'd waited so long for, three, four long years, was over as suddenly as it came to be.

There's not much else I can tell you Kairi, for your own good and for the fact that my time is running out. But you have to know this, you have to make sure you know it. It was Sora's duty to tell you, but there's no way that will happen.

We've been watching you for a long time.

We've seen the circumstances in which you live. When you returned from Kingdom Hearts, we both knew you'd begun your long wait for us. Call it common sense, call it a vibe, call it a feeling, but we knew. It wasn't until we were both here, in this wretched Kingdom of Hearts, that we knew for certain. Yes, I know Sora told you to wait for him, because he'd come back to you. But if you'd known just how long it would take for Sora to come through with his promise – or at least, for some kind of assurance of that promise or some kind of contact with him or I – then you'd probably not have waited at all. If fate was so kind, I wouldn't have to write this right now.

Then again, I know as well as you do that even with that knowledge, you'd have waited till the end of the worlds. You're just that kind of person in my eyes. And maybe – there are a lot of maybes here – you and many others disagree, but I know you, Kairi. I've known you for a while. You're many different things, and I know you've changed, but there's always something inside you that will make you that type of person, the person who misses and mourns even when there's no reason to.

We know you've been waiting for five years. Five years of hell for us, but five years of lonely hell for you. I know you tried to go back to normal. But you never really did. Of course, no one could, after Kingdom Hearts. But as normal as life could get...you tried, you really did. You even went as far as trying to forget us, but you're not like that, you really aren't.

But this probably doesn't justify my point well enough. The thing is, Kairi... me and Sora...? We're never coming back.

I'm sorry you have to hear it so bluntly, but the truth was never meant to be anything but blunt. You can't dance around it, and you can't twist it, and you can't try it. The truth is the truth, and Kairi, this is the truth of our fate, and what I've been trying to tell you. I – we – had one last chance to tell you it all, the truth of the kingdom, our goodbyes, and all, and we took it. This is it.

The circumstance is complicated, but I hold no right to explain it, nor any idea how. Like I said, the truth is the truth, and the facts won't change. When both Sora and I came here, the darkness began to eat away at us. Our rivalry concerning you, our hatred toward the very place where we existed, and every bad thought or dream that we'd banished to the back of our minds fueled the power of the dark, and we became tripped here. Sooner rather than later, the dark will take our hearts, and then, our souls. Death is all that awaits us soon after.

You see, Kairi...as long as you still await our return, Sora and I remain tethered to this bridge of purgatory, this other-world that lies as flat as a sheet of paper over yours, where we can see and hear you, but you don't know we're there. There is no hell that waits for us, nor is there a heaven. We are simply here, all but dead, and simply because you're still waiting.

So now I must ask you to do something for me. Sora and I remain in a dark prison lit by two torches, which seems to be a blessing in this ethereal world. All we have is paper and pencil, and we're writing our last wishes. Mine go to you. Sora's most likely, too, but I won't be reading his letter. Our enmity for each other has grown so dark and bitter over the last three years for some reason that I will never get a chance to understand.

I know you'll get this, and I trust that you'll listen to me. I hold nothing against or above Sora anymore, though I still envy your love for him, the same love that you would never have for me. Aside from that, there is nothing I hate about Sora except his hate for me. We were once friends. Perhaps that friendship has never left, and through you it never will.

Tell my mother all of this if she asks, but if she doesn't, just let her know I love her, and that all I want her to do for me is watch over you now that I can't. Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka probably will never know about this, but they seem to be content that way. Keep it that way, I suppose.

I know I always took second place when it came to Sora and your heart. I can almost taste the irony of it all. I was just the big brother, but Sora was the heartfelt lover. It hurt me deeply, yet I endured, and I never really gave up the impossible hope of you falling for me. That never happened, and there's no chance it could happen now. But know that I love you, Kairi, I always have, and my memory always will.

I've told you all I can, and that there's just no other way. The torches are dimming, fading like the setting sun. And there's one last thing I want you to do for me, Kairi.

I want you to forget.

– Riku


End file.
